Here are a few samples from June… Mike

June 1

We often attempt to break free of sex addiction while still holding on to the illusion that sex workers and porn stars are special, enjoying their work, happy, and, God forbid… desirable. Do you know the stories behind the smiling faces we used to act out selfishly with? Most actors and sex workers become diseased at some point. They aren't smiling inside. They don't like themselves. They often end up drug addicted, hate what they are doing, and don't give two hoots about you, your addiction, or your partner (whose collateral damage may end up being worse than yours).

At some point, we need to open our minds and see what our eyes have refused to see. These are sick and broken people. They are not even desirable as fantasy partners. Let's not refer to them as "stars" anymore.

At some point in our recovery, we will need to make amends to all we used and abused, including sex trade workers or someone we acted out with, but for today, let's just admit that they are sick people who we used as if they were a drug.

Stop the insanity!!! There is much work to do.

Quote: "Today's children and young men and women have sexual identities that spiral around paper and celluloid phantoms: from Playboy to music videos, to the blank females torsos in women's magazines, features obscured, and eyes extinguished, they are being imprinted with a sexuality that is mass-produced, deliberately dehumanizing and inhuman." - Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth.

Stay sober, and have a great day in the real world... mike

June 2

Today's information comes from an article by Doug Browning published on the Protect Young Minds Website.

"In 1973, a Nobel Prize was awarded to Niko Tinbergen for his research on animal and human behavior. He had spent over thirty years observing, hypothesizing, and testing various types of birds, insects, fish, and even humans. He wanted to see how natural behaviors were altered by visual stimuli. He discovered something terrifyingly insightful - a superstimulus."

In research on butterfly mating, Niko discovered that by using fake, oversized cardboard cutouts colored with exaggerated, intensified colors and markings, he could fool male butterflies into attempting to mate with the cardboard cutouts, even when genuine, willing female butterflies were present.

"The male butterflies were more attracted and stimulated by this new fake butterfly because she was larger and more colorful than the real ones! The male butterflies tried to mate with the phony cardboard butterflies, completely neglecting the female butterflies around them! How could this be? How could those boy butterflies be so dumb? Couldn't they tell the cardboard butterfly was fake? Didn't they realize their energy was completely wasted on the counterfeit?" (Doug Browning - https://www.defendyoungminds.com/post/protect-kids-from-porn-fake-butterflies)

You know where this is going. I will continue this subject tomorrow.

Quote: "Pornography is not some titillating feast for the eyes that gives a momentary rush of excitement. Rather it has the effect of damaging hearts and souls to their very depths, strangling life out of relationships that should be sacred hurting to the very core those you should love most." - Gordon Hinckley.

Stay sober, don't take any wooden nickels, and please, don't chase any cardboard butterflies... mike

June 3

Today, I am continuing with some excerpts from Doug Browning's article published on the Protect Young Minds Website.

"How could those boy butterflies be so dumb? Couldn't they tell the cardboard butterfly was fake?"

Well, no, they couldn't. They faced what Tinbergen called a Superstimulus or Supernormal Stimuli. It turns out that an exaggerated normal stimuli, even if it is fake, overrides the normal response to normal stimuli. Guess what? Just like we addicts, the brains of the butterflies began to rewire themselves—not for the better.

"Humans are faced with a barrage of superstimuli today more than ever before. Here's just a few of the more addictive or dangerous ones: Gambling, Illicit drugs, and Pornography. They are all unnatural. They all create heightened responses from participants. And they can all wreak havoc on society. One of the most powerful supernormal stimuli on the planet is internet pornography. Just like the cardboard butterfly, pornography tricks its users to seek after fake sex, phony happiness, and counterfeit acceptance. It traps its users in a degrading fantasy world."

Enough already! Let's rewire our brains back to normalcy starting today. Today is a good day to be sober!

Quote: Pornography is essentially reductive, an exercise in the nothing-but mode, a de-personalizing of the human beings involved, a showing-up of human lust as nothing but an affair of the genitals. - Storm Jameson.

Stay sober, step out of fantasy into reality, and have a great day... mike

June 4

Why did the early AA founders allow addicts to choose group as a Higher Power? One member said it was a "watering down of God." I believe differently.

I have come to see that group is where I encounter God more often than I previously realized.

I have seen more change, open honesty, reaching out, healing, and spiritual growth in people at addiction meetings than in the front rows of most (not all) of the churches I have attended. I see, and continue to see, fear-driven, self-seeking, broken individuals who change into outgoing, nonjudgmental, kind, generous people who will bend over backward to help others get some of what they have received. It is so beautiful, and it sometimes leaves me in tears. All of you have taught me much.

Somehow, the "example" of kind, friendly, generous, forgiving, and giving-back people (especially when they know what I have done) has taught me more about the nature of God than fifty years of autocratic church attendance, decades of Bible reading, and nine years of ministry. Go figure!

At one point, I had to wonder if recovering addicts are better and nicer than God. No, they are not. My view of God and spirituality, however, was distorted. I found Him in my groups, working through other people.

I now understand the sentiment: "May you find Him now."

Quote: "How can you seek God if he's already here? It's like standing in the ocean and crying out, 'I want to get wet." - Deepak Chopra, Why Is God Laughing?

Stay sober, step into new understanding, and have a great day... mike 

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